Home Yellow Pages Movies Classifieds Jokes Jobs Free Hosting Videos
 
  Home
  Joke Forums
  Accounting Jokes
  Animal Jokes
  Answer Machine
  Bar Jokes
  Business Jokes
  Computer Jokes
  Crazy Jokes
  English Jokes
  Ethnic Jokes
  Farmer Jokes
  Fishing Jokes
  Food Jokes
  Gender Jokes
  Golf Jokes
  Heaven Jokes
  Holiday Jokes
  Idiot Jokes
  Indian Jokes
  Insult Jokes
  Lawyer Jokes
  Marriage Jokes
  Math Jokes
  Medical Jokes
  Military Jokes
  Music Jokes
  Office Jokes
  Parent Jokes
  Political Jokes
  Police Jokes
  Religion Jokes
  Redneck Jokes
  School Jokes
  Science Jokes
  Shopping Jokes
  Sick Jokes
  Sports Jokes
  State Jokes
  Travel Jokes
  True Stories

Subscribe
Joke Mail Newsletter




BizHat.com > BizHat.com > Jokes > Animal Jokes

The Cat's Chalkboard Assignments

In order to punish your cat for poor behavior, here are a list of items that the cat may write on a chalkboard. A. Fill in the blanks

1. [xxx] is not food.

Dental floss, plants, Kleenex, toilet paper, human's homework, photographs, shoes, sweaters, socks, the couch, electrical cords/devices, phone cord, vases of flowers, my poop, electric wiring, the rubber fish toy my human drags around for me to play with; rubber bands; Mom's toe; the HUGE fly; used Q-tips; the other cat's vomited food.

2. I will not jump on the [xxx].

kitchen counter, table, stove, barbecue, my human's full bladder at 5:30 A.M., bed at night, TV, bed from the top of the wardrobe at night.

3. I will not sharpen my claws on the [xxx].

sofa, carpet, drapes, my human's leg, my human's boss's leg, the new speakers, wallpaper, window screen, car tires.

4. I will not pee/poop/barf a hairball on the [xxx].

floor, carpet, sofa, clean laundry, sleeping human, human's tax return, the tax auditor, TV, baby's mattress, kitchen counter, dining room table, big people's shoes, bathtub, my Dad's collection of (expensive) Nazi daggers, marble floor (acid vomit+marble=etched marble).

5. I will not climb the [xxx].

Screen, bulletin board, speaker, curtains, redwood trees, walls, lampposts.

6. I will not dunk [xxx] into my water dish.

Tissues, my toy mouse, the house plants, half-digested food

7. I will not hide [xxx].

Pens, curlers, or house keys under the carpet.

8. I recognize that the [xxx] has a right to exist.

Belt, fringe on the bathroom rug, fuzzy toilet seat, house plant, human's toes, baby, human, blue jays outside, teddy bear

9. [xxx] is not cat food.

Chocolate, bananas, pizza, any human food, tea

10. [xxx] is not a bed.

The stove, the pot (not hot) on the stove, sink, the crystal bowl from the people's wedding, piano strings, Mommy's sock drawer, the inside of the antique radio, the car, the electric organ, the computer keyboard.

11. [xxx] is not prey/a toy.

The paper coming from the printer; the newspaper; Mummy; open milk cartons; toilet paper; pantyhose; paper clips; human's toes; my human's penis (see "Robin Williams, Live at the Met"); Christmas tree ornaments; the produce ripening on the kitchen counter; Q-tips; Black Widow spiders; any food, whether wrapped in something or not; the sheets; the computer mouse; Mommy's snow white lace garter from her wedding with the beautiful tasty maribou feathers on it;

12. I will not try to climb into the [xxx].

Freezer, refrigerator, washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, garage.


BizHat.com   Bookmark   Astrology   Chat Room   Classifieds   Computer   Downloads   Directory   Dating   Domain Tools   Education   eCards   Finance   Forums   Freelance Work   Free Hosting   Free Mail   Gallery   Games   Guest Book   Greeting Cards   Ham Radio   Health   Home Business   Hosting Tutorials   Hosting Directory   India   Jobs   Jokes   Kerala   Matrimonial   Music   Movies   News   News Letter   Recipes   Real Estate   Search   SMS   Tourist Guide   Top 100 Sites   Vote Us   Yellow Pages   Arthunkal Church   Site Map  

Google
Terms of Service � Advertise with us � Privacy Policy � Contact us 
Copyright © 2003-2005 BizHat.com, Hosted by FlashWebHost.com