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BizHat.com > BizHat.com > Jokes > Answer Machine Jokes

Answering Machine Message - 5

1: Hi, you've reached Bob and Faisal's room.
 
2: (Background:) What are you doing?
 
1: I'm recording an answering machine message.
 
2: But we're here right now.
 
1: But we might not be here later.
 
2: Oh. (To phone:) Leave a message.

Next Message

Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren't here right now, but if...
 
Matt: Steve, what are you doing?
 
Steve: I'm leaving a phone message since we aren't here.
 
Matt: But you left the last one -- it's my turn.
 
Steve: No, I'm sure it's my turn.
 
Matt: No, you're wrong. It's definitely my turn.
 
Steve: You fool, I know it's... Wait... Matt... What are you doing with that frying pan? (BONK... THUD)
 
Matt: Steve is out right now, so please leave your name and number.

Next Message

Computer style monotone: Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five answering machine.
 
I am equipped with the new Pentium processor to assure that nothing can go wrong... Gowrong... Grong.. Grong gronggronggrongBEEP

Next Message

Hello, this is the Brown residence.
 
We're in the middle of a family fight right now.
 
Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.

Next Message

Whole family crowds around, including screaming babies and noisy pets; to the tune of "Frere Jacques":
 
We're not here now,
 
We're not here now,
 
Don't hang up,
 
Don't hang up,
 
Leave your name and number,
 
Leave your name and number,
 
We'll call back,
 
We'll call back.

Next Message

Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love":
 
And I would do anything for calls,
 
I promise I will call you back;
 
I would do anything for calls,
 
But I can't talk right now and that's a fact.
 
I'm not home right now, so I just can't answer the phone, No way,
 
But I would do anything for calls,
 
Oh, I would do anything for calls!
 
Just let me know who it was who called,
 
And I'll call you back!
 
Yes, I'll call you back!
 
Just leave a message at the tone,
 
I'll hear it when I get back home,
 
And I will call -- you -- back!


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