Answering Machine Message - 15

Hi. This is David. I've shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I'm going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up, I'll play my messages. Please leave one.

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Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet. If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure to get back to you. Oh, and by the way, a word of advice; never try to clean a parakeet cage with a vacuum cleaner.

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Steve is reassembling Elvis' brain and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name...

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Hello. This is Mark and Nathan's phone. We're not here right now, but the phone is.

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If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number...

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Thank you for calling the Peoria Weather Line. (Insert appropriate weather report for the season here.)