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BizHat.com > BizHat.com > Jokes > Answer Machine Jokes

Answering Machine Message - 17

(Long pause, sound of phone dropping, sleepy voice:) Argh! (Pause.) Hello... (Sound of phone dropping, then a yawn.) Sorry man... I'm a bit tired at the moment... (Long yawn.) I'm going back to sleep now... Just going to switch the answering machine on...

Next Message

The party you dialed is not available. Your call is being diverted to an alternate number. Please stand by... (Ring...) The number you dialed must be dialed by your 0 operator. (Click, beep, dial tone.)

Next Message

Please leave a tone after the message.

Next Message

I'm sorry but my answering machine is out of order. I am leaving a broken CD player in its place. It can't take messages either. In fact, it can't even play you a nice tune while you wait to not leave a message.

Next Message

Please hang up now if you would want to speak to Johan. Otherwise, please stay on the line to leave him a message.

Next Message

Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.

Next Message

(Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call. (Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same.)

Next Message

Hello. (Pause.) Hello? (Pause.) Hello! (Pause.) No, it doesn't look as if I'm in right now. Maybe you should leave a message at the beep or call me back later. BEEP. (Pause three seconds.) Just kidding, that wasn't really the beep. Are you ready now?

Next Message

Hello, you have reached 555-1234. Our voice mail system is currently experiencing difficulties, so at the tone, please type your message on the keypad using the appropriate letters, and press the pound sign when finished.

Next Message

(To annoy a friend record this as his message, and he will have keypad music as messages:) Hello, you have reached Dave. Please enter your four digit PIN at the tone.


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