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BizHat.com > BizHat.com > Jokes > Answer Machine Jokes

Answering Machine Message - 20

Mom, Dad... Don't you think it would be easier to reach me if I had a cellular phone? So how about an early birthday present?

Next Message

This is Frank. You can leave me a message, but I must warn you I get annoyed with messages that are hard to read. So please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or I might ignore it.

Next Message

Hello, please send me email instead. I always never playback these stupid answering machine messages. Besides, I am probably online right now.

Next Message

We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

Next Message

This is Anthony. Leave me a message at the beep. (beep) Whoops, I bet you couldn't hear that. Lemme try again. (Beep) Nuts, once more with feeling...

Next Message

Hello... Yes, I'd like to order two medium pepperoni pizzas please, with extra cheese... Oh, did I get the wrong number? Sorry about that. (Click.)

Next Message

OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions?

Next Message

Lindsey's not home now. This is his domestic droid speaking. I'm not programmed to answer the phone, so just leave a message, and Lindsey will get back to you as soon as possible.

Next Message

(Classical music:) This is our answering machine. (Switch to heavy metal racket:) This is our answering machine on drugs. (Silence...) Any message?

Next Message

Thank you for reaching out to us. Nobody is home now. However, if you leave a message, we'll reach out and touch you.


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