Guitar

Q: How do you make him stop playing?
A: Put notes on it!

Q: What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size!

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.

Q: What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
A: Counterpoint.

Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".

Q: What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?
A: Would you like fries with that?

Q: What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?
A: Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

Q: What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
A: You can tune a guitar but you can't tuna fish.