Answering Machine Message - 14

This is Dan Cassidy's answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I've doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.

Next Message

I can't come to the phone right now because I'm down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you're from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

Next Message

Hi, this is the answering machine. I am on strike. Any messages you leave will be deleted.

Next Message

When the caller calls your number, as Steven Wright suggested, simply have your message be a busy signal!

Next Message

After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

Next Message

Thank you for calling the Smith residence. Our operators are presently on strike in sympathy with Major League Baseball. Please leave a message.

Next Message

Hi, this is Jim. Welcome to my Fun Phone Line, where you can talk to my answering machine for only $0.95 per minute! Please leave your credit card number at the tone...